Quirk
by Glittermonkey
Summary: Wherein Obi and Qui reveal their personal weaknesses.


**Quirks**

Author: Yung-Ju Tanida glittermonkey@earthlink.net>   
Fandom: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace   
Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan. More or less.   
Spoilers: Uh, not really. Some allusions to TPM and JA books   
Disclaimer: Ain't mine, dammit. Please don't hurt me.   
This just wasn't worth bothering a beta with, btw, so all stupid booboos   
are mine and mine alone.   
Categories: Humor/Parody; Vignettes   
Rating: PG, I suppose, for some slashy leanings.   
Summary: What Qui and Obi do when they're *not* busy boinking their brains out.   
Feedback: Oh, please, yes. 

-- 

In the wee hours of the morning, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn slipped through   
the front door of his shared quarters stealthily, cloak wrapped tightly around   
the bundle in his arms. He made a beeline for his bedroom without turning   
on the lights, hoping that his apprentice was sound asleep. No such luck.   
He groaned inwardly as a voice broke through the silence. 

"What brings you home so late, Master?" A lithe form stepped out from the   
shadows. 

Qui-Gon turned with a swishing of robes and gave Obi-Wan what he hoped   
was an authorative glare. 

"You need not concern yourself with my affairs, Padawan. Why are you not   
asleep?" 

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Bad dreams." He sidled up closer to his master, a   
sultry look coming from beneath golden lashes. "Perhaps you could help   
me forget them...." he purred, as he ran one hand lightly across Qui-Gon's   
shoulder. He narrowed his eyes when he noticed his master was shifting   
his cloak, wrapping it closer around his rather lumpy front. Obi-Wan squinted   
in the darkness, all playfulness gone and a suspicious look forming across   
his finely chiseled features. 

"Master, what is that?" 

"What's what?" 

"That!" Obi-Wan pointed emphatically at the hidden bundle in his master's   
arms. 

"Nothing." 

"It's rather noticeable for a nothing, don't you think?" 

"Not at all. Don't you think you're getting tired?" A slight wave of the hand. 

"Master, did you just try to mind whammy me?" His suspicion increased,   
with a touch of irritation added in. 

"I wouldn't do that, Padawan," Qui-Gon intoned smoothly. "You're getting   
grouchy. You need some rest." Another more obvious wave of his hand. 

Obi-Wan's eyes glazed over for a second, then he blinked and shook his   
head. His mouth dropped open and he glared accusatorily at Qui-Gon.   
"By the Sith, I can't believe you just did that!" He stalked over to his master   
and grabbed hold of the concealing cloak. "That's it, I demand to see what   
you're hiding. Now." He gave the fabric a good yank, despite Qui-Gon's   
growing protests. 

The cloak ripped, sending the two Jedi tumbling to the floor. A small furry   
creature dropped to the floor and, finding itself no longer constrained by   
large expanses of cloth, bolted under the first piece of furniture it saw. It   
crouched under a heavy sofa, swishing its tail and hissing at the loud   
clumsy creatures making a racket directly in front of it. 

Obi-Wan sat up slowly, rubbing his head. He glared openly at Qui-Gon,   
pointing towards the sofa. "Is that what I think it is?" 

Qui-Gon shrugged helplessly, smoothing his hair back. "It was all alone   
in an alleyway... I couldn't just *leave* it there, could I?" He put on a stern   
"teacher" face and continued with his favorite lecture. "The living Force   
guided me to it... the destinies of all living things intertwine in mysterious   
and unpredictable ways, my young apprentice. It is not wise to discount   
any life we might come upon in our journeys, even if it might seem the   
most insignificant of beings." At this point, the large Jedi Master got down   
on his hands and knees and made what Obi-Wan guessed were supposed   
to be reassuring noises at the terrified little animal. "Yes, you're a good   
wittle kitty witty aren't you? Arenchu? Come here, puddy, good widdle   
puddy wuddy...." 

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. Another pathetic life-form. Not that he was   
surprised. The Jedi Temple had started serving the secondary purpose   
of being an animal shelter and halfway house to various and sundry   
stragglers ever since Qui-Gon Jinn had been admitted into the Order.   
His master just couldn't seem to say no to any hard-luck case that   
came his way. Obi-Wan believed in compassion and generosity and   
all that good stuff, of course, but being the one who always ended up   
scraping dried hairballs out of the carpet, he had a slightly different   
take on the matter at hand. 

With a resigned sigh and a shake of his head, the padawan shuffled   
back to his room, leaving his master to coo and settle in his new charge.   
It was a harmless enough obsession, he supposed, frustrating though   
it might be at times. At least Qui-Gon didn't let his little rescuing hobby   
keep him from training his apprentice or performing admirably on every   
mission they were sent upon. Obi-Wan smiled and shook his head.   
Yes, he supposed, sometimes people just had their... quirks. 

Satisfied with the conclusion he had reached, Obi-Wan sat down at his   
desk and picked up his datapad again, sighing happily as he resumed   
his reading where he had left off. This archive of stories that Bant had   
introduced him to just the other day was completely engrossing, though   
he couldn't quite put his finger on why the works fascinated him so. Some   
of these pieces of fiction would have made even a sublevel street walker   
blush. Amazingly enough, the whole Temple's padawan population   
seemed to be subscribed to the mailing list. Obi-Wan frowned in disbelief   
as the random image of Masters Mace and Yoda in the throes of passion   
popped into his head -- the sheer logistics of it boggled the mind. He would   
have to write some feedback to the author later suggesting an alternate   
pairing in the future. He only knew that he had to finish this one last   
chapter before he could call it a night... 

~finis~ 


End file.
